SERIOUSLY TORN

again, selfish part of me wants to fail, and ambitious part of me wants to succeed and strive.

I keep going back and forth between these two, one moment I've become so pumped up and think I could go through all the hardships and challenges, and at another moment, when  I read disheartening tidbits and info- I just want to pull away..

I know I keep ranting bout this thing for what, 3 times already? But I really can't keep those thoughts outta my head. =/

I'm tired.

decisions, decisions, decisions.

to do what people wanted you to, or to do what your heart wants?
when the thing that what people want you to do is, self-sacrificing. but, it'll provide you good future, given that if you, are able to finish it. it's been ages since i ponder upon this, i myself though that my mental fight is over. guess not. after many times deciding, here again, i've stumbled into the same situation again, and back to the unknown, helpless round. which way to turn, i dont know, i dont know.

Ya Allah, i beg your guidance..

***

something unexpected happened. really. hmmm.
whenever fight ensues it doesn't mean only one side is hurt. the other side is hurt too. it is just the matter of showing it or not.
after all, we all are human. we have emotions, we all have heart. but sometimes, putting on a mask is a need.


it make things easier.