Friday, 30 December 2011

”またね”って言葉の儚さ 叶わない約束

Flumpool - 「証」
Flumpool - Certificate





Face forward, if you ever look back, you’ll stagger
Finally, I managed to wave my hands to you who are fading in the distance

If I call out, I might hold you back. So, in my heart, I whisper
“I’ll be heading towards my dream, and you are going to realize yours”

Only after I lost it, that I realize the warmth that I took for granted
Living through loneliness, I hold on the courage to start on my own path

Before the overflowing tears obstructing you from view
At least, I’ll say “See you again someday” with a smile
When we hurt each other, for countless time we forgive one another
Won’t that be our irreplaceable proof

Even if people critic you of being willful, just keep wishing
That voice will surely reach, if you’re being yourself

If I ever have my dream crushed and given up
Please do scold me from afar, just like those times

At the other end of where you’re pointing, there surely is hope
no one is going to decide it for you
when you’re suffering inside, if you come to question the meaning of life
gently remember of ourselves on that day

“see you again” is a vain word, an empty promise
no matter how many times we exchange it, I’ll never get used to it
nevertheless, in the notebook in which fragments of the past sprawl over
there’s not even a single page with you absent in it

By the time I’ve wiped the tears away, you were already gone
“Thanks” was the word I could think of
again and again we hurt each other and laugh together
this bond will be locked inside my heart, I’ll be setting off too
***
This song struck me deep. Somehow I can relate it with my high school life. Now everyone is grown up and walking down their own path. No matter how many times we utter the word "I miss you" to each other, it just wont be the same between us anymore. It wont be.

But I believe every encounter is destined, and mould us the way we are right now. Thank you for the bittersweet memories :')

to ; SA,SL,SM, and AA.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

reading for the sake of

Since i was a kid, my parents had always nurtured the need to read and bask in knowledge.
even in kindergarden(sp?) they started to feed me with useful reading materials, like story books, kisah-kisah nabi, and mini encyclopedia. hmm it's not really mini i think, it's like a set of informative books designed specially for kids.
this kind of book :3

 the set are divided into alot of genre like.. mechanics and gadgets (pumps, how dam works, dynamo, how can an aeroplane flies, how water system in house works, how camera take pictures, formation of mirage and others)
animals (speed of different animals ; who's the fastest and slowest, how porcupine protect themselves, specialty of tiger's traits, defense mechanism of cicak XDd and others)
organs! (our pupil will dilate/constrict in response to light, white crescent shaped moon exist in your nail indicates that you're healthy, importance of sleep for regulation of body, how digestive works ; spicy food does get digested faster, keratinisation of skin, formation of mole, melanin, albino, etc etc.)
and also nursery rhymes. ^o^

the books were drawn with helpful colourful diagrams, and were told in simple words that it'll attract little kids to read em. masa umur 5~7 tahun memang la keje menconteng buku tu dengan pensil warna je, bila dah besar sikit baru boleh proses dan baca info dalam buku-buku tu. memang menarik (:

now that i'm learning parts of body here and there, i cant help but to remember the small tidbits i've learned back when i was a kid, thanks to the books that my parents provided. for example, when all of us are learning about eye, the fact that i know our pupil dilate and constrict in order to regulate the intake of light inside of our eyeball since i was 9 years old made me feel very.. reminiscent and giddy. happy and shocked that what i've learnt back in my childhood popped up again in my university life. and it sparked a thought in me.

during my childhood, i used to be so excited reading everything related to life, devouring every knowledge that i could. until now, i can still remember how the diagrams look in those old books.

but now.. aiyo ==

honestly, i miss that feeling of wanting more and more of knowledge, absorbing everything without feeling burdened and stressed. having no worries about upcoming exam, what will life throw towards you.


hopefully one day i can regain and relive that blissful feeling. studying not for the sake of passing, but for the sake of the knowledge itself.

***
so one day hopefully when I have my own children (eh eh kau ni tak habis study lagi nak cher pasal anak sendri pulakk)


I'll buy em books, just like what my parents did. kids learn fast, and easily. they have superb memory and ability to remember. the things you've learnt back in your childhood is one of the most vivid memory you could have :)

thank you mom and dad for being such an awesome parents mwah mwah :* Alhamdulillah, thank you ya Allah for giving me such parents. I'm grateful to be your daughter.

and did I told you two that you guys are awesome? No? Then I'm telling it again that you guys are made up of pure awesomeness. hehe. and my siblings too of course. hihi abangkakngahafizaidin <3 <3

when I get back to Malaysia I am soooo gonna take a look at those books again hehe!



the price of freedom

sure is steep. five years. 


but it'll be worth it.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

君は僕の柱

...

油断せずに行こう

remember how you got here.

and dont forget what happened back in last year, you dont want that to repeat again right?

hush.

「油断せずに行こう」

Monday, 26 December 2011

Sunday, 25 December 2011

hai emak

hahaha kelakar la. rupe rupenye mak aku dah tengok video AIBO. this calls for a celebration. kelaakar.

mak, kalau ada video 'Yami' jerit EMAKKKKKKK memang adawiyah dah post ^o^ hehehe

うそつき

今日は本当に寒いです

today is a very cold day.

身体も心です。

Friday, 23 December 2011

デーア・プリンス ;

今日は12月24日です
お誕生日おめでとう越前リョーマ! 
あああ。。really want to join any p-chat now zzzzzzz

brainstem y u must be so hard to understood T__T

オレは、オレは。。。。




(っ・ω・)っ(っ・ω・)っ===AIBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ははははは (笑)wwwwwwwwwww XDd
いってしゃい AIBO ^__^
ここは私のブローグです~えへへ WELCOME-*
please be prepared to BE mentioned alot here na?
アイ・ミス・ユーウ・ 本当に! ちゅちゅちゅちゅちゅううううううううううううううう

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

青の色

today is my pick a random number day /o/

this morning my group did a lucky draw for those who are gonna present and elaborate subtopics in CNS, and I got number 4. It's my favourite number since I was a kid :3

then at the night the whole USM-KLE students had adjourned a meeting related to sports. the system was similar with the system back in high school. and again after a random draw, I got myself a place in the BLUE TEAM WOOHOO. Light blue pulak tu. I LOVELOVELOVE light blue in colour buehehe. Plus the team's name is ARCTIC. Its related to Ice, the elements I liked the most between the five core elements /o/

and lastly my name was listed as the number 25th on the checklist of the random draw. anotherrrr favourite numbah.

random information is random but i am so going to remember this day XD

p/s: Nurul Nadia's 19th birthday today. happy birthday to you miladyyyyyyy moga panjang umur dimurahkan rezeki oleh Allah. blessed to meet YOU PEOPLEZ. hopefully our friendship lasts until Jannah. :) <3 <3 <3 /hughughug

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

on the bus

heard maher zain's song, and i cant help but to smile like an idiot heheeh =="

reminds me back then when my parents came to pick me up at kolej matrikulasi melaka, dad always turn on the vcd player and maher zain's song will be looped again and again to the point i think i accidentally hafal-ed most of the songs already. i miss that moment wew :')



毎日毎日

みんなのために、強くになれる。。。か?

random post is random but hey i miss you people ;- 「お父さん、母さん、姉さん、兄さん、アイボ」

私はあなたに会いたいです T___T

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

EMAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

adawiyah sayaaaaaaaang emak banyak banyak mak tau kan?

adawiyah sentiasa doakan mak panjang umur, murah rezeki, diberkati Allah :)

adawiyah saaaaaaaaaaaangat bersyukur adawiyah jadi anak mak.

hehehe. :) adawiyah rindu mak banyak banyak. adawiyah tau mak pun rindu adawiyah kan? HEHEHE.

tunggu adawiyah eh mak, jap lagi bulan 2 adawiyah balik insyaAllah.

kakngah/hafizaidin ; jage mak elok elok okay okay okay? nah /flying kiss kat semua orang :)

Sunday, 18 December 2011

self

reflect affects your self-esteem. afterwards the self-hating will ensue. let the inner turmoil and internal battle begin.

lastly, top it off with a guilt.

i'm sorry. 

。。。本当にごめんなさいね、本当に。

 



Saturday, 17 December 2011

laughing

at one's misfortune is outright despicable. try to put your foot in that person's shoe. be sensible, think about other people's feeling. please. cuba fikir sikit, kalau kau ke, family kau ke, kat tempat dia? tak kelakar kan. haa. takmo la camtu. tak elok.

renung-renungkan, dan selamat beramal.

self reminder for you too

ya Allah

aku mohon padamu ya Allah, kuatkan la semangat hambamu ya Allah.

jangan la bagi perasaan amarah ni menguasai diriku ya Allah... T_______T

Friday, 16 December 2011

rindu, serindu rindunyaaaaaaaaa

namun apa dayaaaaaa. jauh kat sini T___T

coughcough. hem. asyik asyik post rindu je kan. bosan betul.

takpe. aku nak tulis jugak. teeheehee.

skarang rindu bena kat kawan kawan matrix kat malaysia nun disana.

semua ni salah Nur Syamimi Johari. amek kau full name. dik, aku rindu kau gila gila hang faham tak. tak? tak? tak? tak? tak? baik kau faham sekarang. jaga diri leklok kat sana oiiiii <3

bila free nanti insyaAllah aku buat satu dua post pasal kehidupan kat matrix. nak tulis semua kenangan yang aku lalui before memori ditelan dek masa. CHEYYYWAHH ayat.

satu hari nanti, satu hari nanti. tengok laaaa

Thursday, 15 December 2011

moment of weakness

everyone have that particular moment of weakness, the moment when they feel everything is off, not right, ugly for them, like they're on the brink of the destruction?

i wonder who'll be by my side when i do have one?

who'll just stand by my side and watch with pitiful eyes?

who'll just hear the whispers and rumours flying, and offer condolences and comforting words from afar?

and who'll  be by my side, sharing the pain, empathizing instead of sympathizing with me, rubbing comforting circle notion on my back, and tell me that everything will be alright?

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

words of encouragement

「The first few steps are always the hardest one.」- Sarah Denssen


Like.. when we're doing something, the head start is always the hardest part. But when we've already took the first few steps, along the way we'll get used to the pace and able to cope up with the rest of the journey.


Example : Jogging. It's always hard for us to get our lazy ass off the chair, go out and work our bodies out but, once we've already gone out and jog, it's not that hard to lift your feet and jog for a few rounds right? :3
And soon, you'll get used to the routine and it'll be a hard routine to break once you've gotten used to jogging.
Same goes for studying too, at first it's hard to get the right schedule and pace, but once you've found it and got used to your style of studying, things will get better and you'll feel happy and content to devour more informations from your lecture slides and books :B


「It's okay to feel lost in the first three months of medical school. It's normal.」
Stumbled across this phrase when I was searching for medical school tips, and I think this particular phrase had boosted my spirit alot ; and they make sense too.
I remembered back then, in the first Demo and Discussion class, where the lecturers introduced us to the different parts of the bones, the elevations, depressions, notches and others.
Everyone was writing the meaning of tubercles, notch, crest, and other terms diligently, but finding it hard to understand and comprehend the meaning. But as time passes, everyone got used to the terms and are able to understand the terms w/o referring to any books or slides. See the relation? I think this goes for other blocks too. At first we'll be overwhelmed by the new parts, terms, functions and mechanism of everything, but we'll get used to it because the infos will keep being drilled in our head.


There are few more encouraging and spirit-boosting phrases but it disappeared and vanished as I type =="..
Will post more if my brain somehow recollects them back teehee.



Monday, 12 December 2011

r-r-r-result

now i've entered university for.. 4 months, and i've just finished my first exam 2 weeks ago. at first all of us thought that we will get our result on friday, but it turned out that the lecturers only discussed the questions and answers of our exam papers, without telling us the result. i was so nervous and jittery at that time ; since  i really had thought that the result would be announced/posted after the discussion, but that was not the case apparently. after realizing my mistakes and errors that i've made in the exam, and knowing the fact that we wont get our result at that time, i have lost all the energy to be nervous and expectant. i've stopped anticipating, because i had put high hopes that we'll get our result by that particular day.

and so... when madam vindhya announced that we'll get our result on today's afternoon, i was like.. "oh okay, result." truth to be told,  i was not excited or anticipating it, since all my energy to do so had dissipated and vanished into thin air due to the previous incident. my hopes got crushed before wew. i'm such a pessimist. =="

but still dadaddidadadada in the end we all got our result. i was really... shocked i guess. i did not see this coming, because the study week was disastrous and chaotic i could not put it into words. my daily schedule, health, and sleeping time went haywire ||orz

alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, thank you..  :')

it's not that good nor that bad, but I'm really grateful that I had passed and hopefully I can do and work harder so that I can improve and refine myself to be better.

the results were given out by mentors assigned for each of us students, and they're really helpful and caring towards us. they expect you not to just pass, but to strive and get the best mark o__o
they dont mind if we reach out to them for any reference or problems~ which is very good and helpful :D

i'll work harder, hopefully :O

and please excuse the sloppy and bad usage of english, my english had deteriorated and crumbled to pieces T___T

みんなーさん、いっしょに がんばりしょう、ね?三( ゚∀゚)フ!


Sunday, 11 December 2011

; ★ヽ(・∀・`o)ノ♪

harini ada ceramah kat surau.

akak yang buat ceramah tu sebijik rupa macam kak fiza.

dengan spec dia, mata dia yang bulat ape semua tu. sama. sejibik okay.

saya sangat merindui rumah dan mereka mereka yang menetap di sana. 

Sunday, 7 August 2011

i want to cry

-.-" when you trust someone, you'll bound to get hurt.

when you're being expectant and what you expected doesn't occur, you're bound to get disappointed.

which pretty much what i'm feeling right now.

why are you so fragile, dear heart?

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

SERIOUSLY TORN

again, selfish part of me wants to fail, and ambitious part of me wants to succeed and strive.

I keep going back and forth between these two, one moment I've become so pumped up and think I could go through all the hardships and challenges, and at another moment, when  I read disheartening tidbits and info- I just want to pull away..

I know I keep ranting bout this thing for what, 3 times already? But I really can't keep those thoughts outta my head. =/

I'm tired.

Monday, 11 July 2011

decisions, decisions, decisions.

to do what people wanted you to, or to do what your heart wants?
when the thing that what people want you to do is, self-sacrificing. but, it'll provide you good future, given that if you, are able to finish it. it's been ages since i ponder upon this, i myself though that my mental fight is over. guess not. after many times deciding, here again, i've stumbled into the same situation again, and back to the unknown, helpless round. which way to turn, i dont know, i dont know.

Ya Allah, i beg your guidance..

***

something unexpected happened. really. hmmm.
whenever fight ensues it doesn't mean only one side is hurt. the other side is hurt too. it is just the matter of showing it or not.
after all, we all are human. we have emotions, we all have heart. but sometimes, putting on a mask is a need.


it make things easier.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

sigh ;


i feel so queasy and emotional. i really hate this feeling.

two lessons in a week.

first ; control your emotions. seriously. just because certain brainless and sarcastic people happens to live in this world. my happiness of passing undang is shattered by some stupid prank. haaargh. :/ 

second ; be more considerate. be more sensitive to other's people emotion. do not be tactless. and actually ACT, not just ponder and contemplate things. at least try to do something. i'm sorry, i really am.

Friday, 20 May 2011

choices, choices.

i'm pretty sure most of people is in dilemma now, which course to pick to further study in. at least, i do. we've all have gone through this phases many times, back in primary school, secondary school, and now we have to undergo this again. good for those who had already made up their mind what to be, because being confused is frustrating.

to go a path that what people wishes you to be, or to go a path that yourself want to? the path that is usually trodden is the one that what people wants you to be, because it is common, well known and most likely will produce a good result if you enter that course. but the downside of the choice is, whether we could handle the course, or not. still, if you have the will and the drive to do it, insyaAllah you can manage.

hence, this leads to a need to research. research what your wanted course consists of ; the subjects, which university provides the course (for distance and such), the competition for the course (whether high or low), the chances to get job later, the money needed through out your studying(some course have high cost ; whether the fees - doctors, dentistry, medicine related or the equipments  - arts, photography, architecture, designs and etc. ) don't think the chances to get your job now, think of the chances to get your job later, as in the time you'll be graduating. for example, animation career just started to grow in malaysia, hence there'll be quite a chance to score a job later, since it is just established. i think. your personality also counts ; whether you like to mingle with people or able to withstand paperworks.

being a teacher is good too, whether a secondary school teacher or a lecturer. if you're really good with social skills and teaching people, why not ? there'll be few subjects to major in, languages, science, architecture, arts, agama, maths, accounts, sports and others.

programming, computer science is not bad too :) ; if you're interested in computers. they never grow old, as far i could tell.

or, if you're good with business, take the business course, and start selling. heck, tak payah ambil course pun boleh successful in business if you're really good at it :)

anything pun, rezeki di tangan Allah. pray, ask for His guidance and tawakal :)

toodles out-*

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

update update.

being away from the net thanks to matrix is one of the reason why my previous blog is dead. there's also few other stuffs, which is better left unmentioned.

so err. today is a good day. i somehow managed to woke up early compared to my usual time of waking up, being productive today by organising things here and there :)

today is also the day i got the long awaited internet ; God knows how long i've been waiting for this moment to come. mati kutu kot tak ada internet haha. finally now, i can surf to my heart's content, after DECADESSSSSSSSS. (bukan decades pun, hyperbola je ahaha T__T)

and thirdly i got my final results, which is.. suprising. i seriously didnt expect that i would got such marks, due to the ALOT of stuffs happening before the exam period, study week and during the exam time. both physically and mentally straining, i thought i had flunked the exam papers. but Alhamdulillah things went well. Thank you Ya Allah :')

then my bestest friend called, its been quite a while since i've talked to her, and this sated my missing-her-feelings. :))
i REALLY cant wait for her to come back, and then i hope that we'll have fun together yes? <3

so now there's few more months to go before studying starts again. hope in these few months i'll have fun and do the things that i should do. harap dapat la buat benda yang berfaedah, hek.

hai thar.

hello. this is going to be my third blog. the first one is dead, second one is sealed, hence this'll be my third attempt. going to pour my heart's content and whatever i feel like writing here. hopefully this one will stay abit longer, durr. and hello there friends! :)